5 Mins Read

How To Maintain A High-Performance Sales Career And A Healthy Marriage

Brandon Fluharty  |

Brandon Fluharty |

⚡️ Today’s level up ⚡️

Today’s edition focuses on effective strategies that will help you navigate the turbulence of a demanding role with the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner.

Let’s go!

Read time: <5 minutes

 

Our role is both a blessing and a curse

I received this DM in by inbox recently.

Heavy.

Constant travel, high-pressure, long hours, juggling priorities, missed anniversaries and birthdays…it’s hard! I wish I could say this is an outlier, but sadly, this is all too common in our demanding profession of enterprise and strategic sales.

I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs with my wife, Lisi. In fact, just recently we had a blow up because managing my ambition and the needs of a healthy relationship is a lot to handle (for both of us).

I wish I could also say it gets easier over time, but the fact is, it doesn’t. I believe the best that happens is you both just get better at understanding and supporting one another.

The goal is to minimize the number of times each of you explode (like active volcanoes that are both colliding and erupting at the same time).

Today, I want to share valuable insights, research, and tips I’ve learned along the way that can help you and your partner work as a strong unit (instead of opposing forces) so that you can find a happy harmony between elevating your craft, providing for you and your family’s future, while also being present with the most important person in your life.

This journey starts with you.

“We” starts with a solid “You”

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” – Socrates

Self-awareness is foundational to any form of personal growth and by extension, the health of your relationship with your partner.

Research underscores the benefits of self-awareness, noting that it enhances decision-making, improves relationships, and increases emotional intelligence. These qualities are especially important in a high-pressure sales career where understanding your emotional triggers and stressors can significantly impact your interactions and relationships at home.

I’ve shared the importance of developing personal routines to boost professional performance, but being a human first and a professional second is the way I like to look at everything I do…purposefully. Simply put, that means I try to fill my human cup first before I take on a challenging work task.

This could be in the form of meditation, reading The Daily Stoic, journaling, or writing my wife a love note in the morning before I tackle work. In fact, all of these things are waiting for me inside Sunsama when I open up my computer and or navigate my Thrive Space throughout the day.

I shift from I have to do these things to I get to do them. With a mindset of gratitude and abundance as my compass, life and work feels like a fun game I get to play.

Beacuse these moments of self-reflection are naturally built into my day, that means, especially when times get hectic and stressful, it’s easier to remember the things that keep me grounded, humble, and grateful. Then, when I come together with Lisi, I can be more present with her because I don’t have anything that feels lacking in my personal and professional life.

It’s not always perfect, but it’s certainly better than operating in chaos, constantly reactive to a Slack notification or an email ping on my phone. With each task assigned a specific time and place, I know when I can be 0% available, 50% available, or 100% available, rather than 30% available all the time.

Connecting the dots between what they need and what you want

“To resolve conflicts, first seek to understand, then to be understood.” – Stephen Covey

Effective relationships are built on a mutual understanding and meeting of needs.

Modern research aligns with these ideas, showing that successful relationships are often characterized by partners who regularly invest in understanding each other’s emotional states and support needs. This can mean recognizing when you or your partner needs space, when they need support, or when it’s best to share joyous moments together.

Let’s face it, what we do is selfish – although it may not feel that way.

We’re working hard, making our own sacrifices to do big things and get better each day to provide for our family’s future, but the important thing to remember is that ultimately what we are doing is a choice. And that choice is going to come with tradeoffs – likely more for your partner, frankly, than you.

The best we can do is to first understand them, and then do our best, calmly, to be understood.

Below are five simple and effective ways to do so.

Simple and effective tips that help you work together, not against one another

1. Establish clear rules and boundaries

If you work from home with your partner, setting some ground rules will reduce a lot of uncertainties, stress, and reduce unnecessary blow-ups.

If you have a dedicated office, when the door is shut it could mean “off limits – I’m on a call or I need to concentrate.” If the door is open, it could mean, “I’m working, but if you need me, come on in.”

Another option is you could set up “flex” hours, where during a certain time in the day, you and your partner can communicate on things that need to be addressed, while the other times are reserved for getting your work done.

2. Communicate proactively

I can certainly improve in this department, but it’s important to keep your partner informed about your schedule and potential stressors.

Working on a particularly big account or with a difficult client, don’t hold back. Open up about what’s causing you stress.

They may not be able to provide specific advice, but the simple act of sharing what’s troubling you releases and shares the burden.

That’s the power of a partnership – you don’t have to tackle hard things alone.

3. Schedule quality time together

Whether it’s in the form of a regular date night or simply scheduling time to go over the week ahead on a Sunday evening walk, do your best to keep that time sacred.

The more consistent you can keep this rhythm, the more both of you can look forward to it.

The most important client in your life is your partner. Always keep that appoitment on the calendar.

4. Practice active listening

This can be combined with number three.

If it’s time to be together, really commit to being together. That means being fully present. Put your phone in Do Not Disturb mode and only accept calls or texts from emergency contacts (say if you have kids).

You’ve heard this a million times, but it’s true: “We have two ears and one mouth for a reason.”

5. Seek professional guidance

If harmonizing work and home life becomes too challenging, consider consulting a relationship counselor, therapist, or a coach who specializes in personalized strategies.

It’s never too late to put in the effort, but you have to be willing to take the first steps.

You and your partner came together for a reason. Sometimes you just need an outside or professional perspective to remember why and develop strategies that help you both relight the spark that’s gone dim.

Wishing you well on your journey!

| YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY READING: Top Strategic SaaS Sellers All Have This One Thing In Common – They’re Happy

💛 Let’s help each other: #MentalHealthAwareness month

If this was helpful, please consider sharing it on LinkedIn using the hashtag #MentalHealthAwareness

That’s a wrap. See you next week!

 

 

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